Print“Take total responsibility for your mistakes, own up to them, correct them if you can, and move on.”
Shihan Joel Levy, M.Ed.
Posts Tagged improvement
How do you eat an elephant?
Jul 29
Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time.
In the ring and in life we are constantly learning new skills and refining old ones. It would be very overwhelming to think we have to master it all at once.
A much more empowering perspective is to realize that mastery of anything, be it life in the ring or life in general, is a process in which one continues to evolve and grow.
Like undertaking the seemingly impossible task of eating an elephant, learning and mastering any new skill is best achieved one bite and one step at a time. Take heart in knowing that the master of anything was once a struggling beginner.
Let me know what new skills you are mastering so I can send you a virtual or personal ‘high five’ to celebrate your hard work and progress.
Dedicated to helping you become a black belt (champion) in life.
Photo: monosodium
This week I took my seven year old son to the skateboard shop and set him up with all the gear. Board, helmet, wrist guards, elbow pads and knee pads. He felt like such a big boy with his cool new gear. He even got some cool new skateboarding sneakers to top it off.
Since skateboards and skate gear aren’t meant to be looked at the next evening was a trip to the skate park where the big boys play.
When we got there he ran right in and got on his new board. I just stood there for a minute in amazement watching skateboards, bmx bikes, scooters, and a unicycle whizzing by at lightning speeds, with wiry, muscular young men jumping, flipping twisting, turning, and flying on them.
I thought, “Ok – deep breath, he’ll survive”. As for my son, he was off exploring the park, completely unaffected by what was going on all around him.
The first time he fell off his ‘big boy board’ I thought – ok he’s gonna fall, its part of learning. By the 10th I thought – wow, he is pretty tough, and he is not giving up. By the 15th or 20th time he fell, the older guys were starting to notice him and say things like “Man that kid has b*lls!” Eventually he was able to manage small ramps, then bigger ones, then he went for a serious one. He got some coaching from experienced skaters and I watched and held my breath.
He stood for a minute, then dropped in and sure enough – wiped out, smacked his face on the ramp and came up with a bloody lip. He popped up and said “I’m ok!” And got right back on his board.
Despite my private little minor coronary, he taught us all a very valuable lesson that day. No matter how many times you fall off your board, ignore the minor scrapes and bruises, and get right back on and ride. Life is just like that, and the only failure is to not get back on your board and try again.
By the way, we went back two days later, and after a few more falls and face plants, he was able to drop in on and ride the big boy half pipe – harder than what he had busted his face on two days earlier.
Update: While I don’t have that really nasty spill, here is some footage I took on my blackberry of the boy’s first and second day on his skateboard. I appreciate your comments.
Photo: taliesin from morguefile.com
“When you always do your best, you are always getting better.”
Shihan Joel Levy
This morning I missed an appointment, because I forgot to check my blackberry to see what I had going on. I just got a new one, and don’t have all the beeps, buzzes, and vibrates quite organized yet. I also had done the unthinkable, and temporarily taken it off my hip and put it to the side. Meantime I had double booked myself with two activities in the same time slot. I got so involved with doing something I love to do (teaching a martial arts class), that I forgot all about doing something I needed to do.
It really bothered me that I had missed an appointment with someone, so I did what I often do when I am bothered by something – I took a long walk with my dog to think it over.
A few things entered my mind. One is our ridiculous dependence on technology to live our lives. For years I had a daily planner, which I actually wrote in, and kept on my desk or in my briefcase for a reference. The simple act of taking a pen or pencil and writing something down actually helped me to remember things. And the fact that I had to write it almost elevated it to the status of a goal rather than just something on a to-do list.
It also occurred to me how many things we seem to be doing these days in contrast to years ago. Is it because I am older and there is more to do, or has the world changed? It seems like no matter how many hours there are in the day, there is always unfinished work that gets carried over sometimes from one week to the next, let alone from day to day.
I also thought that perhaps I needed my wife to keep me organized, but upon further thought, I realized that she is also an executive in our small company, and is the CEO of our household complete with three children, a dog, and a husband (who misses appointments). It didn’t seem fair to put my organizational needs on her hands as well.
In the end, I decided that life is something like teaching kindergarten. I used to teach ESL in a K-2 school. While I had some of the younger kids for ESL pull-out, I often marveled at how much there was to do for the actual kindergarten teachers. I had a very interesting way of describing their job. Even though I said it, I will put it in quotes: “Teaching kindergarten is like taking a Dixie cup out in the rain and trying to catch all the drops.” Life can be the same way.
Life is not about getting everything right. Life is more about doing the best you can, all the while knowing you are going to miss some of the drops. As I write these words, I realize that my son’s soccer practice started two minutes ago, and he is waiting for me to get him there. Got to go!
“I was only trying to help,” said the monkey to the fish, as he pulled the fish up into a tree.
It is so true that people see people, places, and things as they themselves are, rather than as the people, places, and things are. In life you will get people who will really believe they are helping by butting into your business, with no real understanding of the bigger picture, or by taking things out of context.
Imagine the irreparable damage a monkey would do to a fish by thinking the fish would be better off like the monkey, and living in a tree. So too can well intended people do tremendous damage by trying to force others to fit their world view. While possibly well intended, these people usually end up hurting those they claim to be helping more than anything else – like the fish.
Typically it will be someone close to you, who may even sit at your table and share your food. This is the most dangerous type, because you never see it coming. Other times it is family members, colleagues, or close friends who can’t stand the idea of you being different from them, and feel the need to ‘fix’ you because in their mind, you are broken.
My philosophy is this: focus on your own goals, and improving your own immediate world, and don’t let your life be dictated by small minds, or ‘monkeys’, if you will. Stay the course of your own self-improvement, and take the butt-insky’s with a grain of salt. It would also be useful to mention to try not to be a ‘monkey’ either.
Have a wonderful weekend.
“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
Oprah Winfrey
“When you always do your best, you are always getting better.”
Shihan J. Levy, M.Ed.
In teaching martial arts, I always tell my students that you do not have to be Bruce Lee on your first day. What I should really say is that you do not need to be Bruce Lee on any day. What you need to be is you – wherever you are right now. What you need to do is get started, regardless of the story running in your head that wants you to believe you are not ready yet. Every day you delay is a day of wasted potential to improve.
Each of us is born with our own potential, and with our own native ability. Our self effort is what gets us from the point of natural talent, to the discovery and realization of our potential. Add good teaching and coaching along the way, and your possibilities expand even further. The point is, start now, and do the best you can. Every time you do your best, you increase the range of what your best is. Sure there will be days when you just don’t have it, but even on those days, get out there and do your best.
When I train fighters for the ring, I don’t care much what the judges say at the end of a match. Don’t get me wrong, it is always nice to win, but winning and losing are both relative. If you get the win, but didn’t compete honestly, it is not a win in my book. By honestly, I don’t just mean following the rules; I also mean giving an honest effort according to your ability. Similarly, if you lose to a superior opponent, but gave it all you had, and really made them earn it from you, I will be extremely proud. In fact, sometimes losing is just what the doctor ordered. My father always told me that you learn a lot more from losing than you do from winning.
Regardless of the activity, one should always be in the habit of doing their best. This habit will lend itself to always going the extra mile – another characteristic of successful people, or what I call “black belts in life”. If you are hung up on winning all the time, prepare for a life of disappointment. However, if you redefine winning as learning, improving, or giving your best effort, you will never fear doing a thing for fear of failure.
This concept has been well summed up by Theodore Roosevelt, who said, “Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are.”
I must confess, I have been eating entirely too much food during Passover.
Whether or not you are celebrating Passover, most people are on spring break right now, and it is very possible that you are also indulging just a bit. Let’s face it, we are all human, and nobody is perfect all the time. The key thing to remember is that just because you temporarily got off track, does not mean that you can not get back on track. It would be easy to stay off track, but you would not respect yourself very much.
There is an old saying that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest. In both cases the only way they change their status is if they are acted upon by some outside force. I am paraphrasing here, but you get the idea.
If you have gotten off track with your workout and diet routine, the way to get back on track is to use your own mind as the outside force that gets your body back in motion. With the weather getting better, and the sun shining more, it is the perfect time to recommit to your health and well being.
Tony Robbins has a saying that motion creates emotion. That being the case, one surefire way to feel good is to move your body in a healthy way. Family Martial Arts Academy is the perfect place to do that, because you get a total body workout, doing something fun and interesting under the supervision of a trained professional.
We would all be very blessed to have a sound mind in a healthy body for a long time to come. I look forward to seeing you all accomplishing your life and fitness goals.
I love to hear about your life’s successes. Please post comments with your stories!
Photo: Mariano Kamp
Be different. Be Yourself.
Mar 24
HEY WEIRDO!
Some kids are just different from all the other kids from the very beginning. It seems to be an instinct among kids to tease or bully other kids who are different from them, and make them feel like outsiders. What the pack fails to realize though, is that as we get older, being an original, and standing out from the crowd is a good thing.
This season, I got hooked on American Idol. I’m not being paid to promote the show, but I have not missed one since the beginning of this year’s run. As of last night they were down to the final eleven, and after tonight, they will be down to ten. While there is incredible talent on the show, one girl has been tagged as being ‘strange’, and also very original from the get-go. Although I will state that my favorite has been Crystal all along, Sioban Magnus has really stood out to the judges as a top contender. Not only does she have an incredible voice, but everything about her is, well, her.
In last night’s interview she said that she was always a little different. Thing is, if she was the same as everybody else, she would just be another girl who sings. Instead, she is clearly on her way to success in ‘making it’ as an artist, and will no doubt have her own style, which in the future others may choose to copy.
The next time somebody tells you or your child that they are weird or different, don’t get angry, or allow your child to develop anger or resentment over it. Remember, that the alternative is to be run of the mill, and to accept mediocre. If that’s your thing, fine, but I would opt for extraordinary any day of the week. As long as weird and different is combined with legal and useful, it can be a wonderful thing. When combined with entertaining, it can make you rich and famous as well.
Like my father told me as a teenager, there is no such thing as competition because you are the only one who can be you. How do you choose to be yourself? Are you going to play it safe, and accept average for yourself, or are you going to choose to be yourself all the way, and go for extraordinary?
I would love to hear your comments.