As a professional educator for the past 20 years, I have observed one phenomenon over and over again. Kids seem to be happier, and feel more safe and secure when they have structure and discipline in their lives. They are often told what not to do, but that does not necessarily offer them any clear structure for disciplined behavior in what to do.
Legendary dog trainer Cesar Milan insists that for dogs to be happy and balanced they need rules, boundaries, and limitations. In other words, discipline.
Kids are very much the same. They consistently look for structure and discipline if it is not otherwise given.
Here is an experiment I often do to prove my theory. I take a group of kids and say, “We are going to play a game of (e.g. dodgeball). Ok, play”. Right away they say “Wait a minute, what are the rules?”. Then I give them one rule only and tell them to play. Immediately they say, “Wait, what about…?” looking for clarification of the rules regarding any variety of situations that might come up.
I then engage them in a full on explanation of the rules (discipline structure) of the game. Only when they are satisfied that all the rules have been covered will they want to play.
Guess what happens when one of them breaks the rules? You guessed it – they all jump on it and are not satisfied unless the rule-breaker (he/she who demonstrated a lack of regard for the structure and discipline of the game) receives a consequence.
Time and time again, the kids themselves show me that structure and discipline creates happier, well balanced kids. Try an experiment of your own and shoot me a comment.
If you are looking for an environment that promotes respect for others, responsibility for one’s actions, and discipline for oneself for your own children, check out the Family Martial Arts Academy Summer Karate Camp. Students in our camp really do become physically fit, self-confident, and able to defend themselves if they have to. Kids love it so much they even want to stay for aftercare.

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On Thursday, November 5th,
You may have noticed that there are a lot of people with dogs walking around town. There are all types of dogs to be seen in Highland Park. Some big, some small, some friendly, some not. Some are good with people, but not with other dogs. Some are good with dogs but not people. Some dogs are good with neither, and some are good with both.

My staff and I at
So I’m on the bus ride back from our soccer game up in Paramus. It happens that I am coaching my daughter’s high school soccer team, and we have an away game. We lose the game, but that is another story. The van ride up to the game is pretty uneventful, with the usual chatter of high school girls and the sounds of teenagers singing along to the radio. I am in the front seat next to the driver, writing out plays for the game, and the list of starters and subs for each position.
Next thing I know, he is flying down the parkway south at dangerously high speeds, in the far left lane, cutting over to get around people in the center lanes who are driving closer to the speed limit. At first I tell myself, “He got us here just fine, don’t be paranoid…” Then I notice he is barely able to stay in the lane he is in, causing cars to the right of us to swerve out of his way as he repeatedly cuts partially into their lane.
Parents, please talk you your kids. Ask them about their day. Ask them about the bus driver. Ask them about everything. Ninety nine percent of the time, you have nothing to worry about. But, believe me; people will behave much more responsibly when they know you are checking up on them.
In my own search for answers to these questions years ago, I came across some hard-core bodyguard training. Like many others, I thought bodyguards were just big scary guys that beat people up. And I did meet some that were ‘monsters’ — at least on the outside — but I also met others that were maybe 5’3” and 120 pounds.
Watching the news or reading the paper, one gets a good idea of how often children are targeted by predators. More often than not, these predators appear at first glance to be ordinary members of society. In many cases abductions can be prevented by little more than direct supervision by a responsible adult.
When walking to your car, always hold your child’s hand with your stronger hand and carry your shipping bag in your weaker hand. Should you have an encounter with a possible assailant or if a vehicle pulls out blindly, you’ll be able to protect your child as you maintain your grip on him or her, and keep them safe.
The physical training component can be easily learned by anyone of any age using the Training For Life™ techniques which we teach in Shopping Sense®. For excellent personal protection information and techniques, I recommend Tom Patire’s Personal Protection Handbook or video tapes. Both are available at my website
I teach a series of classes called Know and Go®. Some of the things they learn in our Know and Go® course are what to do when: