This morning I had a choice.  I could get really angry and go into the whole screaming, blaming and cursing routine.  Or I could just take action to make things better.  Such a simple formula, but still the most effective route.

Here’s what happened.  My parents were in for a visit.  It was morning, and my father was sitting at our breakfast counter.  Since I was close to the fridge on the other side, he asked me for some orange juice.  I took the juice out of the fridge and poured some in a glass.  So far so good.

Now you are thinking, “I bet he spills the OJ.” Good thinking, but that would be too easy.

I walk over to the breakfast counter and place the juice on the mat in front of my father, and quite frankly I was feeling pretty gratified at this point.

As I go to walk away, I turn and feel my elbow hit something.  It would help to point out that I am completely blind in my left eye, and had not scanned to my left before turning.

Let’s back up.  After dropping my kids off at school, I thought, “I should really get to the gym right now before the day get’s rolling.” Then I thought, “Well, my folks are in town, my wife is home, why don’t we all have a morning together, including coffee and conversation at and around my kitchen and breakfast bar.  That would be nice.”  Positive thought number one.

At some point this morning, my wife decided, “Why don’t I make a protein shake with all natural ingredients, and leave some for our high school age daughter for when she gets back later tonight?”  Positive thought number two.

I didn’t go to the gym, so now I’m home, and just finished giving my father some OJ.  I turn, and my elbow hits the blender filled with a fresh batch of chocolate, peanut butter, and protein stuff, which is still on the lower counter.  As I continue to turn, the falling blender comes into the field of vision of my right eye, out of which I can see  just fine.  I utter a sharp expletive, and the whole thing comes crashing down on my tile floor, between the center kitchen island and the dishwasher, splattering glass and brown muck everywhere.  Thick glass too.

Immediately, my father feels bad, because he says he should have gotten his own juice.  I feel bad because I didn’t look before I turned.  My wife feels bad, because she had in mind to leave the protein shake for our daughter.

Now I’m thinking, I should have gone to the gym.  My wife is likely thinking she should not have left the blender on the counter, or that her husband is a moron.  I already know what my father is thinking, because he said it.

Momentary pause to assess the situation and how everybody is feeling.  Then what happened was amazing.  Reality: nobody got hurt; no glass in my good eye; we have more ingredients for a new shake; my parents now know what to get us as a holiday gift (Jewish New Year); and we have everything we need in the house to clean up the mess.  Everybody recognized these things, and began to verbalize them at the same time.

Action taken?  Group effort.  Paper towels, careful fingers and shoes on for the initial mess.  Then out comes the Dyson.  Floor attachment found.  Shark steam cleaner put to work.  Kitchen spray followed by wood polish.  Everything stays out until inspection  by my wife, the Chief Commanding Officer of all things kitchen (she loves her kitchen, and cooking is her hobby; not a macho thing).  Final polishing and finishing completed to satisfaction.  A job well done.

We could have all gotten angry and started shouting and blaming each other.  We didn’t.  We worked together and cleaned up a mess.  We all felt accomplished at the end.

All the while, I am thinking, “What good could come of this?”  Here is a short list.

• the kitchen floor, including under the cabinets,  got a good cleaning
• working together gave us a sense of unified purpose
• I learned where certain cleaning products are in the house, and what to do with them
• I realized that cleaning can be very meditative and therapeutic
• the whole event gave me something to write about this morning
• the incident further anchored the concepts that there is good in everything, and that getting angry is a choice; and usually a bad one
• stuff can be replaced; good health and well being is far more important

Moral of the story?  You know.  Get angry or get busy.  The choice is entirely yours.

Photos: ra41 and G & A Sattler

Tags: Anger Management, stress